My good name is the only thing that I have in the world of any value. My word is my bond. Apart from this there is nothing of value. I will not be accused of dishonesty and will not stand with people that make that accusation, directly or tacitly, against me.
MM crossed the line today. I was upset because she had changed plans that we had made without any regard for the commitment made. I asked her to talk about it. It turned ugly. During the course of the conversation she accused me of not being forthright with her. She asked whether I had or had not made support payments. We have been over this terrain in the past. I have told her the truth: I have made payments to the extent that I was able. I did not tell her that I have had to sell instruments, cut services, other details that seemed unimportant to share. She is entitled to only the part of the truth that concerns her. That was told to her. She had been told the truth: payments have been made. She had the unmitigated gall to accuse me of dishonesty by asking whether I had or had not made payments.
I will not be with anybody that is unable to trust my word. Trust is the only thing in a relationship that can sustain it. Without trust there is nothing. Her accusations tell me that she does not trust my word. There is, therefore, no ground upon which to build anything that resembles a free and open relationship.
MM has broken trust with me in the past. The past several postings since January bear witness to that. I have tried to rebuild, but have been hurt deeply by this woman. I frankly see no way that this can be sustained if this is how she feels.
I asked her to return all that is mine and not to be in contact with me apart from necessary communications regarding a debt that I owe to her and my vehicle which died in front of her home.
To hell with her.
If she feels that I am a liar then she can go to hell for all I care. I will not have my honor and honesty questioned in my home, in my little "shit-box apartment" as she has called my home. That is simply beyond what is acceptable, tolerable, or sustainable. It is not me that is not good enough for her, but that she was never good enough for me.
I am done with her. Period. Renuncio toda la emocion perdida en ella. Que se vaya al demonio por lo que me dijo.
