I have been suffering from a sort of writer’s block. I just can’t seem to craft words into coherent and poetic forms. I have a couple of songs, but no lyrics. MM thinks that I should leave one just as an instrumental. Given the recent state of affairs with my writing, I wonder if she is not right about that (no pun intended). I listened to the rehearsal tape of Spot’s Enigma (its working title) and rather liked the idea of the instrumental. I still want to use the voice as an instrument for textures. YQ will be up for that.
I spent the morning cleaning the kitchen and making lunch. I also cleaned Cuddles’ cage out. She is shedding her skin. Looking at the new and brightly colored snake that lives in the environment that A created, I can see how the myth of the snake came to mean newness of life. There are times that I wish that I could as easily slough off the old and dress myself in a new skin. There are times that I wish that I could make myself over to be the same, but new. That sounds like a blues… who knows.
I like the idea of cleaning house. Maybe it is the closest that I will get to shedding my skin and putting off all of the shit that needs to be scraped away. I did my kitchen. It looks like the holy place that a kitchen should be. I’ve always regarded the kitchen to be the holiest place, next to the bedroom, in a home. Again, death and life come together in both places. There is some poetry in the old English designation of an orgasm as a death. To die was a double entrendre, it meant to cum. Maybe the mad Dane was not as insane as the Bard would have us to believe? But I digress…
I can do this sort of bullshit all day, I am, after all a Gemini. It is the discipline of writing poetry to set to music that is demanding. Speaking of music, I did record several tunes yesterday at MM’s home in preparation for going into the studio. I am happier with them than I was before. I still need to work on them to perfect them, but they are well on the way.
I need to begin to think seriously about employment. I enjoyed teaching more than I can say. I think that I am made for this. While I would love to think that I could make my living doing music, I know that it is a tough sell and that my product, while good, requires a band that I would also have to support. There is a possibility that it could be done, but I am not sure that I want to do all of the front-work necessary to have half a chance of making a go of it. I did a projection on the profit margin for my project. If I sell the CD at $15.00 I still make $10.00 per copy (direct distribution). Factor in commissions for salespeople or venues and I am still doing well, say about $7.50 per copy. Not bad when you consider that a “name” with a major label is making less than $1.00 per unit. But they are also selling in the millions of copies of each unit. Realistically, I need to sell between 7,000 and 10,000 copies to make a living. That does include gigging (and the expenses that are associated with that). Selling 7,000 still puts me well into the fifties for income. That is more than livable. Ah well, dream on…
I got a strange email from my mother. She said that she was surprised that I am so political! I have never been anything but political. A proud leftist and always inclining in that noble direction. The relationship with my so-called family remains strained at best. I really think that we have grown apart and that there is no hope for any substantial reconciliation. It is enough to be polite. My daughters and MM are my family now. I rather like it like that. No paterfamilias…. Just good egalitarian loving and caring for one another.
I looked in the mirror and decided that the closest thing that I could do to shedding my skin was shaving… Jeez, I’ve got such a baby-face! I look even younger without my facial hair.
On to the tasks that need doing…
Ah, but I remain a fool…
