Calmer today, much calmer...

I don't know what the antecedent was to the anxiety attack yesterday, but it was a monster. I am feeling much better. After I was calmer, I went to see a friend about music and then to have dinner with another who had been there through several of the worst attacks. She and I chatted over soup and salad at Baker's Square and came to the conclusion that it really does not what sets the attacks off, as much as it does to understand how to talk myself down and try to understand what they are linked to. In some ways they are like a hyperlink on a computer, click on the specific event and find yourself transported to another place. "Age-regression" is what it was called by my therapist. It could be a good thing or a terrifying thing. To this day the scent of night-blooming jasmine makes me sick (it is a link to violent events in my childhood). The smell of the ocean is a good one (it is a link to some very good memories). I don't know what the antecedent was yesterday. I do know that it is past and I am doing much better.

I worked on my webpage for my music project. I am teaching myself HTML and am really pleased with the results. Another friend, who works in the computer industry as a programmer, told me that HTML was a dead langugage. " Cum mortius en lingua morte?," I responded. I don't think he got the joke.

Doing better. Who knows, I might get a song or two out of it!