It has been a good day. School is winding down. I came here, as has become my custom, to dine with MM and her son M. M was not feeling well and slept through dinner - odd behavior for a 14 year-old boy to say the least!
MM took a short nap to take care of her headache. I did the dishes, fed her dogs, and sat down to play my guitar. She came to listen and we spent a couple of peaceful hours engaged in parallel activities. She was playing on her computer. I was playing the blues. We were engaged in other activities but together. It was nice.
I am spending most of my time here with MM. She and I act as if we have been a couple for years on one level, while on the other there is still so much yet to discover.
I will be driving to LA to pick up my daughter for this weekend. It will be my birthday on Thursday. Odd thing to be so close to fifty and feel still so close to twenty.
I spoke with my eldest daughter last night. She went to meet up with G, her old boyfriend. I think that she is still very much in love with him. He is a nice guy, though I know that there was some hurt in the past. Really, it has come to the point that none of us are free of baggage. The real key is finding somebody whose baggage matches yours.
I hope that R is OK. She sounded melancholy when we spoke, that sort of dreamy pain of unrequited love... Bittersweet.
MM is beautiful... I do love her so.
The fool continues in love.
It is later, I am at home now. I've just left MM's side. It is harder and harder to leave. For the first time I left clothing there to have something to change into. It seemed like a big step. I was a little concerned about how she would feel. She was more than OK, she liked the idea.
We talked a bit after making love. We do act like we have been together for years. Maybe this is because both of us have had the experience of being married for years of our adult lives. Maybe this is because of a comfort level. Probably a bit of both. Still, it feels so damn natural to be with her. She was taking care of her headache and I was practicing quietly in the front room. I looked up and saw her there, smiling. She was looking for me to be by my side. What bliss.
My home is feeling less like my home. My home is beside her.
I realize that that could pose quite a dilemma. I am willing to chance it. She is the single most important person in my life. I do love her so.
Ah, but I am just a lovesick fool...
