July 29, 2004

The Perils of Pat

I was listening to the radio this morning. There was a discussion of the meaning of earthquakes. It seems that Pat Robertson, the scion of conservative Christian paranoia, blamed the porn industry in Northridge and the San Fernando Valley for the Northridge earthquake. Apparently, God was unhappy with people filming their sexual exploits for others to masturbate by. It made me wonder if Pat had ever patted his monkey to a sexually explicit image – verbal or graphic – or engaged in any sexual peccadillo that would stray from a perfunctory fucking of his good lady wife – missionary position, of course – while being careful not to enjoy it too overly much or to engage in this activity too often.

I always thought that this sort of nonsense was the stuff of superstitious minds. Pat also claims to have prayed a hurricane away from the eastern sea-board. Thank whatever gods that there may be that this joker never succeeded in his aspirations for political office.

I just went to Marion Gordon “Pat” Robertson’s webpage… somebody hold me; it was scary. He claims to have been a swinger. The image of that man cumming is too much to bear, I may need therapy.

Apparently he did enjoy something of a sex-life. He claims to have been a wanton soul. Too bad God didn’t kill him because he was being naughty, just like the people in Northridge, whom he claims God killed with an earthquake because of the porn industry. Apparently they did not repent. Too bad for the innocent people killed, though. I’d bet that the kids that were crushed in the apartments that collapsed were really happy to have died a terrifying death because somebody liked to beat off to porn made in the San Fernando Valley. Such a profound mercy that kills innocent people because they like to play with themselves. What a terrible sin. It must be up there with – gasp – enjoying a meal. All of that is worst than, say, oppressing the poor or prosecuting an unjust war in Iraq because we could. Ah well, the Lord “wound and heals,” as the author of Deuteronomy would have it.

Maybe Pat has worshipped the phallic god more often than I would have considered probable. Seems his wife was seven months preggers when they married. An interesting, if biased, portion of an article is reprinted here for your reading amusement:

“Marion "Pat" Robertson, founder of the Christian Coalition and the 700 Club, told Christian Coalition supporters at their 1998 Road to Victory conference in Washington D.C. that Bill "Slick Willie" Clinton is a , "debauched, debased and defamed" leader. Robertson called for the impeachment of Clinton. Marion said, "For nearly nine months, we have seen one man wreak havoc on our most noble office. For nine months, we have been mocked, demeaned, belittled and lied to. We have been forced, ourselves and our children, to endure an account so lurid that if it were made into a movie it would have been triple X-rated."

HYPOCRISY CHECK When Marion Robertson ran for President in 1988 he too lied to the media and American people about sex. In Robertson's case his wife and son were directly involved in the lie. For years he lied to people about the date of his marriage. According to the Religious News Service of October 9, 1987, when he married, his wife was already seven months pregnant. I guess he did a lot more than just the "laying on of hands!"

“If Robertson was elected President in 1988 should he have been impeached for lying to the American people?”

Source: http://www.deism.com/patspage.htm
Thanks be to whatever gods protected the USA that Pat did not get elected. Nixon, Reagan, Bush, and Bush II still tend to make me wonder. Look, I like sex. I’ve had several of partners and probably have done a couple of things that might make some people wonder. I can understand fudging the marriage license to protect the honor of his good lady wife. But to have done so and then to have the temerity to attack a sitting president for a blow-job? How to you spell hypocrite? P-a-t....but that is nothing when compared to his defense of his business partner, Charles Taylor – dictator of Liberia – when none other than the current President Bush criticized his leadership is. My source? That bastion of the fourth estate, CBS News.[Source: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/07/11/national/main562915.shtml ]:


"Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson accused President Bush of “undermining a Christian, Baptist president to bring in Muslim rebels” by asking Liberian President Charles Taylor, recently indicted for war crimes, to step down. “How dare the president of the United States say to the duly elected president of another country, 'You've got to step down,'" Robertson said Monday on “The 700 Club,” broadcast from his Christian Broadcasting Network. “It's one thing to say, we will give you money if you step down and we will give you troops if you step down, but just to order him to step down? He doesn't work for us.” Robertson, a Bush supporter who has financial interests in Liberia, said he believes the State Department has “mismanaged the situation in nation after nation after nation” in Africa. “So we're undermining a Christian, Baptist president to bring in Muslim rebels to take over the country,” he said in the broadcast.

"Robertson told The Washington Post in an interview published Thursday that he has “written off in my own mind” an $8 million investment in a Liberian gold mining venture he made four years ago, under an agreement with Taylor's government. “Once the dust has cleared on this thing, chances are there will be some investors from someplace who want to invest. If I could find some people to sell it to, I'd be more than delighted,” he said in the article. He said his investment was intended to help pay for humanitarian and evangelical efforts in Liberia. ..."


The article continues. So… Let me understand this: it is OK to topple Saddam but not Charles Taylor because Saddam is of the wrong religious persuasion and Charles is a good Baptist boy, even if he is thief, murderer, extortionist, and general no-goodnik. On Mr. Taylor, the BBC reported the following:

There is nothing this naturally confident man would like more than to strut the African stage playing the flamboyant statesman.

But thanks to a United Nations travel ban on him and his ministers, he has in recent years remained largely at home dealing with rebels and sulking about a world that in his view misunderstands his contribution to Liberian history.

The publication on Wednesday of a UN indictment for war crimes against him worsens his plight considerably.

Source: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/2963086.stm

Somebody help me out here… Maybe he should have stayed a “swinger”? The older I get the foggier it becomes. Damn, I wish I had my lucky rabbit mood ring. I could trust that…

But I am just a fool…